It may not seem to make sense that when you finally get the thing you have longed for, you don’t seem all that excited to have it.

Many women have an incredibly strong desire to have a baby. They may have waited for the right partner, or may have had trouble conceiving. But when that pregnancy test comes back positive, all the waiting seems to be worth it. You feel like you are going to burst with the excitement.

Then the initial excitement starts to fade and you find yourself not really enjoying the pregnancy. It may be that you just do not feel well physically, but there may also be other feelings that you can’t quite understand. You’ve waited for this amazing time in your life and you thought it would come with amazing feelings as well. It may be especially hard if you have other pregnant women in your life who are just beaming with joy.

What you need to know is that there is no “right” way to feel.

Your feelings are just that — what you are feeling. It can be near impossible to force yourself to feel something you don’t and the guilt that can come with trying and failing to do so can only make things worse. Sometimes you can feel guilty because you don’t even have words to describe how you’re feeling.

Give yourself the space to sit in those feelings. Give yourself grace when they don’t feel great. Talk openly about those feelings with someone you trust. Remember that your pregnancy will not last forever and that your baby is the ultimate goal. If you feel like things are continuing in a direction you don’t want, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for help.

One tool that might be helpful is the acronym SASHET  (Sad, Angry, Scared, Happy, Excited, Tender) to identify some of the core feelings you may be having. It’s a good way to identify what’s going on inside and gives you a way to check in with a friend.

Here is also a link to a helpful blog post with some tips you can try.

A doula can be a great source of strength and support for you during this time.  Hire one and you’ll always have someone to remind you that

you’ve got this!

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